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傻女人

傻女人












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  说不清为什么,很长时间以来,我一直有想写一写她的冲动。她孩子般无邪的、灿烂的笑容,她所经受的苦难和她对此的浑然不觉,总是不经意间从记忆深处走来,让我感到久远的、莫名的温柔和疼痛。

  

  

  傻女人

  ——驿路梅花

  

  

    

  说不清为什么,很长时间以来,我一直有想写一写她的冲动。她孩子般无邪的、灿烂的笑容,她所经受的苦难和她对此的浑然不觉,总是不经意间从记忆深处走来,让我感到久远的、莫名的温柔和疼痛。

  她是我儿时的邻居。按村里的辈份,我叫她丈夫大伯,叫她大娘。听母亲讲,她是大伯第一个妻子去世后,从外地领回来的第二个妻子。我不知道她的姓名,全村也没有人知道她的姓名,好象她一生下来就没有过名字。人们谈论起她的时候,都说那个傻女人如何如何。那时我刚记事,对于大人们说的傻很是好奇,于是便想从傻女人身上发现一些不同来。

  最初见证她的“傻”,是她对母亲的称呼。她的儿子叫我母亲“三婶”,她便也跟着叫。记得有一次她来我家和母亲借东西,一进门,就憨憨地笑着对母亲说:“三婶,我想跟你借点玩儿(她说的“玩儿”就是东西的意思)”。她对我母亲的称呼,她发出的与众不同的“玩儿”音,都让我感到万分有趣,当[url="http://m.39.net/pf/a_6489068.html]初期白癜风怎么用药"[/url]时我怎么也控制不住自己,一下子哈哈大笑起来,母亲狠狠地瞪我一眼,喝住我,然后给她找东西,极和善地和她拉家常,这在她是少有的待遇。此后她便常来我家和母亲借些针线之类的,说是借,她是从不记得还的,母亲也没打算要。还有印象最深的一次是姑姑来我家串门,正巧她又来和母亲借东西,姑姑听到她叫我母亲“三婶”,就忍不住笑了,她便也跟着憨憨地笑。姑姑问她多大了,她笑着说“我属兔”,再怎么问,都是这句话,姑姑和我都大笑起来,她也跟着我们极开心地笑。

  其实她是很美的。记忆中,她的眼睛如孩童般清澈透明,总是含着笑意,面庞是日夜劳作的农村妇女中少有的白皙,一头简洁、黑亮的短发总是梳得一丝不苟,用两个黑发卡别在耳后。她也很爱美。我常看到她站在院子里,拿着小镜子照,照的很仔细,有时她一抬头看到我,便会憨憨地笑,脸有点红,好象害羞的样子。她丈夫碰到她照镜子,总会吼道:臭什么美,还不干活去!她就慌乱地把镜子收起,眼神怯怯的,笑容也凝固了。每当村子里来了卖衣服的,她总会围过去,挑花色最艳丽的衣裳拿在手里,翻来覆去的看,眼神里满是深深的渴望。但是她从没有买过,她没有属于自己的钱。常常是卖衣服的走远了,她还站在原地,嘴张成“O”形,痴痴地张望着。

  她很爱孩子,她自己的儿子已经长大了,和她并不亲,我年幼的小弟就成了她爱的寄托。夏天,园子里的黄瓜还没掉花儿,浑身满是小剌儿,刚能吃,她便会在家里没人的时候,偷偷地摘下几根儿来,来到我家,并不进屋,隔着窗小声地、兴奋地、又生怕别人听见似地喊我小弟:“小小儿,小小儿,给你吃黄瓜!”母亲见了,连忙出去告诉她不要这样,快拿回去,免得挨打,她就用衣襟兜着黄瓜,极落寞地往回走,母亲轻轻地叹口气。但是她还是记不住,秋天,她家屋后的[url="http://www.baidianfeng51.cn/]患有白癜风要如何治疗"[/url]大桑树上桑粒刚见红,她又会偷偷地摘一小碗儿端过来,母亲对此毫无办法。

  母亲的担心不是多余的,她真的常常会因为一点小事挨丈夫的打。丈夫打她常常是在院子里,示众似的,显威风似的,好象生怕别人听不见。我无数次看到这样的场景:她的丈夫拿着驱赶牲畜的皮鞭,一下一下地打在她单薄的身上,她用双臂护着头,手被打得流了血,无助地、凄厉地坐在地上哀求,而他的丈夫并不住手,他亲生的儿子也很少出来劝解,母亲的劝说也常常不起作用。我满眼含泪,小小的心灵充满[url="http://pf.39.net/bdfyy/bdfjc/]北京哪里看白癜风最好"[/url]了对她的怜悯和无处排解的忧伤,我也自此恨极了那个我称作大伯的男人。

  后来,我去外地读书,只在放假回来的时候能看到她。再后来她的丈夫去世,她的儿子成了家,她们搬到了儿媳娘家住的村子,我便再也没见过她。

  很多年过去了,对她的记忆并没有随着时间的推移而冲淡,反而越来越清晰。不知道她现在可还健在,生活的可好,真心地希望她的脸上,还会有孩子般灿烂的、无邪的笑容。

  我也常想,什么叫“傻”呢?也许那是另一种人生,更纯净,更透明。如果真的有天堂的话,我相信这样的人走后,是会去那里的,插上天使的翅膀,自由地飞翔。

    

    

   

  联系方式:(Email)dongmei32@163.com|

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